so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
