i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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