Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
