do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's like heaven, but drunker
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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