if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
