he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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