I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
