come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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