Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
