69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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