Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize