im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
