Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
