you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sorry about my life...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
