capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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