He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize