it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
