If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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