I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
