i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
