i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize