Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
