You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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