Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
