Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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