i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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