So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The best revenge is premature balding
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
