Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I am morally bankrupt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
