was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
