I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
