i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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