kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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