She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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