drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
