Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
