I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
