i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I touched a dick in church today
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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