'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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