Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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