I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
