Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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