Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
