I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize