i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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