we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let's get the cat blown out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
