As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
