these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
