Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
