thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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