Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
