I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
