Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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