Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
