Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
