We're facebook friends in real life
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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