Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Please, let me fuck your mom
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
