god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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