"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
