I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
