where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
North Korea, Best Korea!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize