well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
