Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
