sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
