Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
