I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize