I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize