im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
