I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
