She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
